Sometimes it makes me chuckle to realize that someone could talk for hours about their job or their college major and you could walk away knowing practically nothing about who they really are as a person. I think we are all made for a little more than just going to school, getting a job, paying the bills, and retiring. I mean, what fun is that? There is so much in this world to discover, to recognize, and to embrace. We were all created to do this in different ways and that's what truly makes up our unique personalities. As I grew up, I began to focus all of my time and energy on school and on making money because I wanted to be useful and secure in the future. I would hold lemonade stands and bake sales, later getting a job as soon as I turned sixteen to save for college. Everything was about being practical, every move I made needing to be justified in some way. Now, after this approach backfired as I lost sight of my priorities and gave it over to nervousness and perfectionism, I am relearning how to just chill out again. As strange as it might sound, it was hard at first for me to do the things I love. It was almost more difficult to discover what I liked to do for recreational than to just continue working working working all the time. When I did find a few hobbies that interest me like writing, painting, knitting, and playing guitar it became frustrating to allow myself to learn how to be good at them. The fact was, I had become an expert at being constantly productive and efficient and I lost the ability to just try new things and be bad at them at first. Writing, by far, came the easiest to me. I began writing the book that was forming in my imagination for years and I started this blog. Painting and guitar, well, they were really difficult. My first paintings looked like blobs (see photo above) and frankly they still do. And the guitar? Well I can play a "C" chord but I think I've already forgotten everything else I learned. When life gets hard, it becomes a reflex to drop these important pass times. I sometimes get stressed and immediately stop working out, stop the hobbies, and begin to come home and immediately turn on vegetable mode. This is when our job/career or school becomes the most important aspect of our life, because it is what we commit all of our energy to. But what about our loves ones, our passions, our own bodies and minds? What are we gaining by giving all our energy over to money and stability? When we get burned out, we must keep our pity parties in perspective. Listen to your body, know what it needs to regain focus and trudge forward to regain that balance. Don't slip in to the wake, work, eat, sleep routine. Fight passionately for your right to live as God called you to live. In Matthew 18:3 Jesus said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." When we stress ourselves to the max, concerned only with money and performance, we become like robots with our fuse almost blown out. Jesus says it is better to be like little children. Remember when you were a child? I always enjoyed horseback riding, picking wildflower bouquets, looking at marriage announcements in the paper, watching butterflies, getting my hands dirty, reading and socializing. I lived for the discovery and the wonders of life. I was relaxed and analytical, I was completely me. Although we now have more responsibilities they don't have to take over at the expense of our souls. You can still be you and I can still be me. It is a choice. What does this look like for you?
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AuthorJaci Pederson Archives
January 2019
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